Untitled Eileen Pregnancy Fanfic: Sneak Preview
by Mr. Nanook
Summary: An exclusive sneak peek at a future fanfic I'm releasing next month. From the writer of "The Last Day". Rated T for Mild Language and Use of Alcohol. (TITLE CHOSEN! READ CHAPTER 2 OR MY PROFILE FOR DETAILS)
1. Sneak Preview

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Miss me? Yup, it's me, it's me, it's Mr. Nanook-y here, formerly known as the intrepid "bazaaboy44", but that's a different guy and he's dead now. For those who don't know, I wrote the critically acclaimed fanfic **_**The Last Day**_** where Rigby goes crazy and kills many people. That right, I was the one that did it first, so you know I'm the real deal. I was also the writer of the sadly-cancelled fanfic _The Last of our Days_, a planned reimagining of my first fanfic that was scrapped. I know I said I'd never come back, but I didn't want that failure to be my swan song. So consider this my apology and my official return to the _Regular Show _scene.**

**Anyway, a magnificent new concept popped into my mind one night and it was enough to make me return home. To avoid confusion over my new name, I'm releasing this exclusive sneak peek for my future fanfic titled **_**Untitled Eileen Pregnancy Fanfic**_** for my fans! This fanfic will be multichaptered and the first chapter will be released next month. For now, enjoy this preview!**

_**Regular Show**_** and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and © Cartoon Network. I own nothing except for the story, plot, and any characters that I created.**

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**SNEAK PREVIEW**

Rigby took a seat on the stool closest to the bartender. He took a minute to observe his surroundings of the bar he had entered. With a name like "Comrades Bar", he didn't really know what to expect. All over the red and yellow wooden and stone walls were countless amounts of Soviet memorabilia, including portraits of Joseph Stalin, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Vladmir Lenin, several flags of the Soviet Union hanging over the doorways, World War II-era propaganda posters, several stone busts of famous Soviet people and a deactivated AK-47 assault rifle hanging over the bar counter. An AKS-74u compact carbine was hanging on the wall near the ladies restroom, which appeared to be pointing towards the door, with a PPSh-41 submachine gun pointing to the men's restroom.

Rigby turned his attention to the bartender and took note of his appearance. He looked to be in his early 50s and showed his age with gray hair and several strands of black that appeared to have been restored slightly with Just For Men Touch of Gray hair dye, giving the man an appearance of a communist Reed Richards with a little bit of gray stubble around his face and jaw. A scar on the right side of his face running down from his forehead to his lower jaw gave the man a rather dark demeanor. His left ring and pinky fingers were also missing and only stumps with aged scars remained. His choice of clothing was rather casual as he was sporting a red sweatshirt with a Hammer and Sickle emblem on the right shirt pocket and yellow sweat pants with stylish red stripes running down the legs.

"Yo, chief," Rigby called to the bartender in front of him. "What's with all this Russian stuff?"

"'Russian stuff'?" the bartender repeated with his strong Russian accent. "This, my man, is _Soviet Union memories!_"

"Oh…" Rigby replied amused, "…what's the Soviet Union?"

The bartender's eyes bulged up as he heard about the raccoon's lack of the Motherland. He slammed his fist on the counter and snapped, "Please tell me that you DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!" He lifted his shirt a bit to reveal a holstered Makarov pistol with wooden grips.

"No, wait!" Rigby shrieked. "I know now! Yeah, Stalin and stuff! USSR! Mother Russia! World War II! Tetris! Ivan Drago! I got it, dude!"

The bartender stood in front of the frightened raccoon; his angered expression not escaping his face. The frown slowly turned to a grin and then he burst out laughing. Rigby was looking on at the laughing man in disbelief, wondering what's so funny. "Oh ho ho ho! That's funny, my friend! I like you! You get one beer on the house, comrade. What do you take?" he happily offered.

"Uh, Coors Light I guess," Rigby replied. The bartender grabbed a mug hanging over the bar and poured beer from the tap all the way to the top.

"Here you go, sir."

"Thanks," Rigby lifted the mug to his mouth and took a quick swig.

"You ever been here before, man?" the bartender asked. "I don't recall a raccoon ever coming in here."

"Oh-uh, no. I've had a long day and this is usually Mickey's Irish Pub." Rigby revealed to the man. "What happened to Mickey?"

"Oh, he sold the place three weeks ago. I signed a lease and opened up a new one, and it looks like you made the right choice coming in here, comrade!" he praised. "Name's Alexei. Pleased to meet you," He extended his wrinkly hand to Rigby.

"I'm Rigby," he replied and returned the gesture, giving him a rather weak handshake. Alexei didn't notice, much to Rigby's relief.

"So, my friend," Alexei began. "What brings you to my wonderful bar? You have an intense love of the Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик?

Rigby choked a bit on his beer and raised an eyebrow at Alexei. "The what?"

Alexei chuckled at the response. "I didn't think so. They teach you nothing in high school, Rigby?"

"I dropped out," Rigby revealed with embarrassment.

Alexei scoffed. "Typical American school system," he commented. "This country is good for harboring oil and taking more money than needed, but when it's time to teach the children, they fall flat like the Berlin Wall!" Rigby nodded in agreement to create the illusion that he understood. "Hey, don't sweat it, comrade! I didn't go to school either! I dropped out to do my part in Vietnam. I would've done more if I hadn't got my fingers and my leg blown off by some damn dirty mole!" He then stood on one leg and lifted his other to reveal a prosthetic leg. "This is what I have to show for it!"

"Cooooool," Rigby commented in awe. He felt the leg with amazement. "That's awesome, man."

"Yeah, it makes for great story," he said and put his leg away. "So what bring you here, friend?"

Rigby shook his head and sighed. "My co-workers were giving me a hard time at work today."

Alexei scoffed again. "Hmph! Co-workers; they are the worst, huh?"

"You said it, Alexei!" Rigby raised his mug and took a long swig from it. "They keep giving me crap about my relationship problems and I just couldn't take it. I don't like it when they talk about it."

"You having girl problems, man?" Alexei asked. Rigby nodded and took another drink, leaving the mug empty. "Here, let me top that off for you," Alexei insisted as he took the mug and refilled it with beer. He handed it back to Rigby and asked, "Women, right? Sneaky little hooligans, aren't they? With their prying eyes and hypnotizing gazes. That kind of shit will drive men mad! I stay clear from their nice firm bodies knowing that they'll lure me in with their menstruation. And then they expect _me_ to wear condom? Ha! Get your tubes tied, lady and then we'll talk sex, right Rigby?"

"Word to your mother!" Rigby replied, raising the mug and nodding in agreement. He was already slightly drunk after a beer and a half. Rigby was never good at holding down his liquor and always managed to be the first one drunk at parties. This fact actually made several people jealous of the raccoon. "They're all like, 'I really like you' and then they ask for companionship and 'listening'! Are they serious?"

"Agreed, my friend! Who needs them? Incidentally, I'm not homosexual!"

Rigby cracked up at that comment. "I believe ya, man!" He then paused and took a deep breath. "But still, it'd be nice to be wanted."

"I feel you, Rigby. You like a girl right now?"

"I don't know," Rigby sighed. "There's this one girl that I see sometimes and I think she likes me, but I don't know if I feel the same."

"What she like?"

"She's smart, good at video games, kinda funny, and hot without her glasses on. But she's cute with them, so-"

"Ah!" Alexei interrupted. "Say no more! You like this girl!"

"What?! No!" Rigby defended, but wasn't entirely sure if what he said is true. "Well…I don't know." He took another long sip from his mug.

"Keep drinking, my friend," Alexei encouraged. "You'll figure it out soon."

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_**THREE BEERS LATER...**_

"So this one-this one time, she's asking me out, right? So I went like 'I gotta do stuff today' and she totally bought it!" Rigby drunkenly told Alexei. "But then Mordecai—that's my best friend, by the way—asked me to do him a solid and we went out anyway!"

Alexei whistled in response. "Ahh. So you do the nasty with her then?"

"No! The date was terrible, but then we, Mordecai, Margaret—that's another friend of mine, by the way—and Eileen went camping and she-she freakin' made a motherflucking fire out of-out of nothing! I was like 'that's pretty cool, baby' and I totally made her blush and then I slapped my wiener at her face," Rigby then realized his error and said, "Correction: my wieners."

"You have more than one?!" Alexei asked wide-eyed.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out...but I don't want you to find out, so that's for me to know and for you to never find out!" Rigby then slammed his head on the counter and laughed loudly, making a few patrons turn their attention to the intoxicated raccoon. "One more round, Alexei!"

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_**FIVE BEERS LATER...**_

Rigby had his head down on the counter, sobbing quietly and was surrounded by three beer mugs. He decided to try a different set of beers, so he went for a Corona and a Budweiser. This only managed to reduce his self-control even further, as predicted.

"So after Mordecai shot me with the tranquilizer gun, Death Bear was ready to kill!" Rigby took another swig from the only mug that still had beer in it. "And then," he sobbingly said as he raised his head off the counter, "Death Bear was about to attack her, and I didn't even have the balls to save her! I was too numb!" He broke down and cried with his face on the counter.

"Hey, man. It's not your fault. Those tranquilizer darts are real ублюдки." Alexei assured him as he patted his back reassuringly. "Trust me; I know."

"I know, man. Real un-da-loo-kuns!" Rigby wiped the tears from his face with a tissue that Alexei had given him. "And even after all that," he sobbed with a smile, "she still likes me!"

"Wha-ho! You must have her under some kind of spell! If that were me, I'd never want to talk to your slow-ass again! I mean no offense."

"Hey, none taken," Rigby assured him. "Man, we really hit it off that day! It could have probably led to something more…" The raccoon then noticed his beer mug was empty and said to Alexei, "Speaking of which, more please!"

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_**EIGHT BEERS LATER...**_

"The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek," Rigby sang,

"There's nobody here, it's just you and me,

It's where I want to be,

But I hardly know this beauty by my side,

I'll never forget the way you look tonight;" Rigby then sighed and said, "This is her favorite song. She requested it during rollerblading, but I don't think they played it."

"Rigby, no offense but that song sucks like capitalism!" Alexei admitted. "Allow me to teach you a man's song."

"I already know _Bang Your Head (Metal Health)_, Alexei."

"Then allow me to teach you an anthem!" He turned to a person near the jukebox in the corner of the bar near the restrooms, called, "Hey, you!" to him and tossed him a quarter. The man caught the coin and Alexei asked, "Hit number seven!" The man inserted the quarter into the slot on the jukebox, pushed the button labeled "7" and the Soviet National Anthem began to play. "Now we're talking!"

"Союз нерушимый республик свободных," Alexei chanted.

"Сплотила навеки Великая Русь!

Да здравствует созданный волей народов

Единый, могучий Советский Союз!"

Rigby looked on with awe and a lone tear ran down his cheek and his mouth agape. Alexei stood on top of the counter and continued the anthem.

"Славься, Отечество наше свободное,

Дружбы народов надёжный оплот!

Партия Ленина—сила народная

Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!"

"Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы," another voice chanted. It was a Russian patron who was sitting next to Rigby. He stood on top of the counter too and joined Alexei.

"И Ленин великий нам путь озарил:

На правое дело он поднял народы,

На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил!" The pair sang. Suddenly, more and more patrons joined in the chant; some of which weren't even Russian! They had only joined in to not feel left out and several were only speaking plain gibberish in an attempt to sound Russian. Rigby wanted to be one of them so he joined in, as well. Alexei picked him up and put him on his shoulders as they chanted the rest of the anthem.

"Славься, Отечество наше свободное,

Дружбы народов надёжный оплот!

Партия Ленина—сила народная

Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!"

"Hey, you're doing great, Rigby!" Alexei commented and continued with the anthem, along with the rest of the patrons in the bar. At this point, everyone was on their feet and was chanting the anthem.

"В победе бессмертных идей коммунизма

Мы видим грядущее нашей страны,

И Красному знамени славной Отчизны

Мы будем всегда беззаветно верны!"

"Here's the last verse, comrades!" Alexei announced to everyone. "You ready, Rigby?"

"Let's do this!"

"Славься, Отечество наше свободное,

Дружбы народов надёжный оплот!

Партия Ленина—сила народная

Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!" After the anthem was over, everyone applauded, making Alexei burst into tears.

"This brings such pleasant memories!" he cried. "Да здравствует Родина!"

"Yeah, what he said!" Rigby announced and climbed off Alexei's shoulders.

"Rigby?" a soft familiar voice from behind him asked. He turned around and saw the girl he was talking about with Alexei: Eileen.

"Ei-Eileen?" Rigby asked as he walked closer to her to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He cupped her cheek with his hand, making her blush slightly. He couldn't help but notice how hot she looked with a red tank top, black sandals and skinny blue jeans, showing off her nice curves. Rigby suddenly hugged her for no reason other than to have an excuse to hold her body. "It's so nice seeing you here!"

Eileen was blushing uncontrollably at this point. She patted his back a bit and said, "Uh, you too Rigby."

"So, Eileen," Rigby said, slurring his words as he pulled away. "What-uh, what are you-uh, what are you doing in this incredibly fine establishment this late?"

"I should be asking you the same thing," she said. "Mordecai called and said you were heading off to this bar and said that I should come pick you up and be the designated driver, seeing as you clearly aren't fit to drive home," Eileen explained to the drunk and rather touchy-feely raccoon.

"What?!" Rigby spat back. "Whatchu talkin' about, Willis? Everyone knows I drunk great when I drive!" Alexei walked over to the two and patted Rigby on the back, causing him to burp loudly directly to Eileen's face.

"Ha ha! A real lightweight this guy, isn't he?" Alexei commented. Eileen wasn't amused and fanned the stench of alcohol and peanuts with her hand.

"Okay, fine. Take me home, your majesty." Rigby said in a mocking British tone. "Hey, Alexei. Put the bill on my tab, okay?"

"You got it, friend! Take care now and don't choke on your vomit! That's an embarrassing way to die!" he responded with a thumbs-up gesture. Rigby then stumbled to the exit to wait outside. As Eileen went to follow him, Alexei tapped her shoulder. "You're Eileen, aren't you?" he asked the mole.

"Um, yeah…" Eileen replied nervously.

"So nice to finally meet you! That raccoon really has a thing for you!" he affirmed to her. Eileen blushed again.

"Rigby?" she inquired. "He…likes me like that? Did he really say that?" Surely he couldn't have said that, she thought. She and Rigby were only friends. Nothing more, and hopefully nothing less.

"Oh, he did! He just wouldn't shut up about you! I say, you two would make great couple! I know when I see and I see! Eh?" Eileen looked at him with astonishment. Rigby liked her more than a friend? She couldn't believe it. She knew that she and Rigby were growing closer, but never pictured that those feeling were turning into so much more. Was this the beginning of a new relationship between the two? Is is possible that now they could become..._boyfriend and girlfriend?_ Eileen couldn't resist smiling at the thought.

But her smiled faded as she remembered something: Rigby was drunk. His stench, slurring of his words and constant stumbling was a clear indication of that. Perhaps he didn't mean anything that he said about her. Maybe he was just drunk and thought that he liked her when he really didn't. Eileen was no fool; she could sense some deceit with Alexei's claims. But was it really that, or was it the truth?

"Well, I'll be sure to talk to him about that when he gets home. Thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Alexei! Any friend of Rigby is a friend of mine! Take care, Eileen and make sure he gets plenty of sleep. I'm sure he'll have headache in the morning!"

Eileen nodded and walked to the exit. "I'll make sure of that. Good night, Alexei!" She walked out the door and saw Rigby sitting on the sidewalk spinning his head.

"_Did you really mean all that, Rigby?"_ she thought to herself. _"Or were you just being a fool? God, I hope not."_

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**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Preview over! What'd you think? Keep in mind that this is still a work-in-progress, so the final version of the chapter will differ. The first chapter will be released early March and will sure as hell not be cancelled! I guarantee you that! Reviews, comments, criticisms, corrections, locker combinations, e-mail passwords, ISBN numbers and cupcake recipes are always welcome and as usual, keep suggestions about where the story should go or requests out of my sight. Nanook out.**

_**I'm back, but not entirely in black.  
-Mr. Nanook **_


	2. Sneak Preview Two

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Did I mention that I love this place? Because I do! I'm feeling incredibly generous and thought I'd treat you all to another sneak peek at my future fanfic titled _Untitled Eileen Pregnancy Fanfic_. To see what's in store for this story (tee hee), here's the official summary:**

**Rigby and Eileen were just friends. But after one night, everything would change. Rigby has never had much luck with girlfriends and after a day of teasing in the hands of Muscle Man, he heads off to a bar to drink his problems away. What he didn't expect was a designated driver in the form of a beautiful female mole. With Rigby drunk, one thing led to another and Eileen is left pregnant with Rigby's child. Join Rigby as he travels through an experience that even he's not sure where he wants it to go. From the writer of the critically acclaimed fanfics **_**The Last Day**_** and **_**Anti-Finn**_**. Rated T for Mild Language, Sexual Content and Use of Alcohol.**

**Before we start, I got another announcement to make: I'm officially returning to the **_**Regular Show**_** fanfic scene full-time. I've decided that if the authors in the **_**Adventure Time**_** fanfic scene are going to keep churning out the same boring, monotonous, dime-a-dozen stories about the same goddamn pairings every day, I'm not going to be a part of it and they don't deserve to read what I have to offer. All they're getting is one-shots while my readers back here will get multi-chaptered stories of the highest caliber. See, it's easy to be bitter. All you got to do is talk. Anyway, enjoy the preview.**

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**SNEAK PREVIEW TWO**

Rigby walked home with a heavy amount of weariness about the events that transpired. He started to shiver at the thoughts of what happened last night. He shook his head furiously and cursed himself for not being able to remember what happened.

"Grr!" he growled. "Why can't I remember?!" He then felt a strong pain in his head for shaking his head and winced in pain. "Ouch," Rigby spotted a nearby gas station and decided to enter it to buy some aspirin and bottled water. He walked down the aisle and found many brands of aspirin to choose from.

"Whoa, so many choices…" he mumbled to himself.

"_Ra-ha-ringtone, pick up your phone! Ra-ha-ringtone, pick up your phone…" _Rigby's cell phone was ringing. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID; Eileen was calling. Rigby groaned in disgust and declined to answer. On the other line, a certain mole was sighing sadly. Rigby picked up a random container of pills and walked to a refrigerator to pick up a small bottled water. After he picked out his items, he walked to the register and saw Thomas in line with a case of sodas.

"Hey, Thomas."

Thomas turned around and said, "Oh, hey Rigby. How's it hanging?"

"Dude, don't say it like that!" Rigby complained.

"Like what?"

"Uh, never mind," Rigby replied, not wanting to even hint about the events that happened in Eileen's apartment.

"Say, we didn't see you come back at the house. It was game night and we played until eleven-thirty. Where were you?"

"I was at a bar, okay?!" Rigby snapped. He was starting to grow impatient and wanted to go home.

"Okay, Rigby! No need to be so crass," Thomas replied hurt. He was next in line and put the case of sodas on the counter to pay for them. "So you slept at the bar or something?"

"No, Eileen was my designated driver and she drove me to her place and I slept with h-", Rigby then stopped to realize what he was about to reveal and reworded his sentence. "-I mean, I slept on her sofa."

"Oh, that's nice. Hopefully you didn't puke in her toilet. I think girls hate when guys do that."

Rigby turned his back and chuckled nervously. "Heh, yeah. That's so wrong," he said and scratched the back of his head.

"That'll be $4.69," the cashier said. Thomas handed her a five-dollar bill and told the cashier to keep the change, seeing as it wasn't his money to spend.

"See ya around, Rigby," Thomas said and walked out of the store. Rigby was next in line. He placed his items on the counter and waited for the cashier to ring them up.

"Long night?" she asked.

"What makes you say that?" Rigby bitterly replied.

"Aspirin this early in the morning and your shaggy fur are a dead giveaway," the blonde cashier noted as the hungover raccoon straighten his fuzzy inept fur. The disgruntled raccoon scoffed at her statement.

"Congratulations! You cracked the code!" Rigby sarcastically replied and mockingly clapped his hands. "Good work, Nicolas Cage; you cracked the National Treasure! Brava!"

"Well, you're clearly not the friendly drunk," the cashier replied and let out a humorless chuckle. "That'll be $3.47."

Rigby pulled out a $20 bill from his fur pocket and slapped it down on the counter. "Keep the change, jerk!" he barked, grabbed the aspirin and bottled water and stormed off. Once outside, he unscrewed the cap from the bottle, opened the container of aspirin and took two tablets out. He tossed the tablets into his mouth and took a long drink from the water bottle. He gulped in satisfaction.

"…maybe I shouldn't have done that," he said to himself. He continued to walk back to the park, hoping to avoid any more distractions along the way.

He sighed to himself. He still didn't believe he slept with Eileen. He kept reminding himself that it was a drunken mistake and that he's not entirely responsible. He cursed Eileen for not being able to fight him off. What made him angrier is the fact that he didn't remember it at all! All he could manage to recall is him drinking six beers at Comrade's Bar, Eileen driving him to her place and then vomiting in her toilet. For some reason, he could also remember her shower curtains with the multi-colored cartoon fishes. Eileen had described it as an incredible night, which doesn't give Rigby much to work with. What worried Rigby the most is that this probably meant that Eileen thought he liked her _that_ way.

"_I don't like her that way!"_ he thought to himself. "_It was all just a mistake; a wrong, drunken mistake." _He finally sees the gates of the Park and walks to the house. He opens the door to find Mordecai playing a solo game of _Dig Champs. _Noticing that the blue jay hadn't turned his back to face him, Rigby closes the door quietly and slowly walked toward the stairs.

"Hey, Rigby," Mordecai said, not keeping his eyes of the TV screen. Rigby sighed in defeat.

"Hey, man," he replied.

"Where have you been? You didn't come home during game night," Mordecai then turned around to observe his hungover friend and noticed his haggard state. "Whoa, dude. What happened to you?"

"Let's just say I got drunk," he deadpanned. "And no, I didn't come home. I didn't want Benson to get on my ass over skipping work, so I didn't want to come back so soon."

"Did Eileen pick you up? I asked her to be your designated driver just in case you took too many drinks, which, judging by how you look was a good idea."

"Shut up!" the annoyed raccoon barked back. "And yes, she did pick me up. We went to her place and I-uh…" Rigby trailed off.

Mordecai paused the game, turned to his friend and asked, "Dude, what?"

"…I slept there," Rigby replied after a moment of silence.

"Were you on your best behavior?" Mordecai teased. Rigby grimaced at the comment. "Chill, dude! I'm kidding." Rigby let out another humorless chuckle. "But seriously, you didn't do anything bad to Eileen, did you? You know she likes you."

"You don't even know the half of it…" Rigby mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Mordecai asked as he heard Rigby mumble something.

"What?"

"I heard you say something."

"Yeah, I didn't say anything."

"Dude, you're out of it," Mordecai stood up and turned the Sega Master System off. "Come on, Rigby. Let's go get you a coffee before work starts. Maybe a muffin, too."

"Sure, man. That sounds good," Rigby said, smiling a bit.

"Great! Let's head to the Coffee Shop. We might get an early-bird discount or something."

Rigby's eyes bulged up at that task. "Wha-what?"

"Yeah, Pops forgot to pick some up from the store, so let's get some at the shop."

"Uh," Rigby nervously said with sweaty palms, "I don't think we should go."

Mordecai raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter, man?"

"Nothing! I just think we shouldn't go right now! I mean, what if Benson catches us? He's gonna be pissed!" the reluctant raccoon brought up. He had no intention of going back to the Coffee Shop and risk seeing Eileen. All he wanted to do was stay far away from her for a few days or possibly a few weeks. Mordecai grew suspicious of his friend's behavior and pursued the matter further.

"Rigby, you know work doesn't start for another hour! What's wrong, dude? Is there something at the Coffee Shop you don't want me to see?" he questioned, hoping to get an answer.

"No, nothing like that! I just don't think we should waste any time and we should really get started on work!"

Mordecai looked on at the raccoon with no expression on his face. "Yeah, you're clearly out of it. Now come on. I'm driving." The blue jay replied and headed off to the garage to get the cart ready. Once he was gone, Rigby kicked the sofa in anger.

"Damn it!" he cursed. "I don't want to see Eileen-ow, right now!" Rigby rubbed his sore foot and hopped to the window to see Mordecai on the cart waiting for him. "Maybe she won't be there. Maybe it's her day off or her shift doesn't start yet. I mean, she did offer to make breakfast and that might have taken a while! Yeah, that's probably it! Oh, please let it be it!"

_**BEEP BEEP! **_roared the cart horn as Mordecai honked it to get Rigby's attention.

"I'm coming!" he yelled as he walked out the door and hopped on the cart. "All right, let's roll!" Mordecai nodded and pressed on the gas as they headed to get some coffee and a bagel. Or a muffin, I don't know; I forgot. Mordecai decided to take the opportunity to consult Rigby about yesterday.

"Hey, Rigby," he started. "About yesterday…"

Rigby grew nervous again. _"Oh, crap!"_ he thought. _"How did he find out?!"_

"Uh, ye-yeah?" he responded with a stutter.

"I didn't mean to let out that incident with your ex-girlfriend. I swear it just slipped. And just so you know, Muscle Man promised to lay off for a while." He informed his friend. Rigby breathed a sigh of relief and his nervous state faded away.

"Oh, that? It's cool, Mordecai!" he happily said. "All that drinking really helped me forget anyway. Just as long as Muscle Man backs off, I'm good."

Mordecai let out a chuckle in response. "We're here," he announced. Both of them exited the cart and entered the Coffee Shop. Both sat down on their usual table. A familiar robin walked towards them with a tray containing two coffee mugs and a fresh pot of coffee.

"Hey, guys. Good morning." Margaret greeted with her usual warm smile. She had her usual work clothes on and a pen and notepad in her pocket.

"Hey, Margaret," they both replied in unison.

"What'll it be?" she asked as she pulled out the pen and notepad.

"Two regular coffees and two blueberry muffins, please." Mordecai requested.

"Comin' right up!" Margaret placed the two mugs on the table and poured a generous amount of coffee into each one. "I'll be back with the muffins, guys. Be right back!" she informed them and walked away to get the rest of their order. Rigby grasped the mug and took a sip of the hearty coffee within.

"Ahhh…" he said in bliss. "That's the good stuff."

"See? It's just what you needed!" Mordecai pointed out and took a sip from his mug, as well.

"Heheh, yeah," Rigby turned back to his friend and caught him eyeballing Margaret picking out the muffins. "Dude, when are you gonna seal the deal with her?" he asked and took a long sip from his mug.

"I don't know," he admitted. "When are you gonna seal the deal with Eileen?" Rigby's eyes bulged as he spit up all his coffee and coughed violently. Mordecai looked at him with a befuddled look on his face and patted Rigby's back to help him from choking.

"Dude, it was a joke!" he said. "What's the matter with you? You've been acting like this all morning!"

"Nothing-" he said and paused to cough, "nothing's wrong! I'm fine! The coffee was just too hot!"

Mordecai wasn't convinced. "Dude, what happened last night?" he asked, determined to get to the bottom of his friend's odd behavior.

"I told you, nothing is wrong! Man, don't you listen?!" Rigby snapped back. "Now, just-"

"Rigby?" a voice Rigby had hoped to not hear for a while said. Rigby was hesitant to turn around to see the source of the voice, but slowly turned to see the face that had been haunting him all morning.

"Eileen?" he said. "Oh, no…" he whispered to himself.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Aw, snap! What's going to happen next? You won't know until next month! The official release date has been set for March 6th. ****Reviews are always welcome and when you don't review, you are insulting me. You don't want to insult me, do you? People who insult me don't live too long…sorry, lost my train of thought. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next month. Nanook out.**

******UPDATE (2-23-13): The official title for this fanfic is _Bound by Lust, Separated by Life_. Voting is closed and no requests or suggestions will be taken from this point on. Thanks to everyone who voted. Another thing to clarify: this fanfic will be Drama and Hurt/Comfort. This preview is only Humor, just to let you know. I'll see you all March 6th! Nanook out.**

_**Apology not accepted.  
-Mr. Nanook**_


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